Ok, so, Yes… I am going to talk about Inception again… Not that I am an Inception freak, but I do think that there are a lot of lessons in this movie, that we can all use. And some that our kids could really find useful…
Such as this:
You see, I do believe that your mind always ultimately decides. People go through horrendous situations and get through them, others don’t. Some athletes win, others don’t. And yet, at this level, the difference may be a hundredth of a second or a 10th of an inch… Where is the real difference?
For this new school year, new goals have to be set and the ideas they are based on is what will decide how the year goes. Make the right choices! For you and for your kids. Choose your ideas and let them transform your world!
Yesterday we decided to go and watch Inception. The commercials worked and made me wonder about the whole thing, especially given that most of what I do involves looking at how people use their minds…
The first thing I did was look the word up. I had read the synopsis online and it was kind of a key word! 
I found a few definitions quite close to each other but the general idea is beginning, creation.
Then I sat through a couple of hours of breathtaking action, the kind I like, no gross gratuitous violence and quite some thinking put behind the story, featuring pretty amazing people. I really thought a few times that I was dreaming, and getting this feeling you get when you are in a very vivid dream you really hope to get out of soon.
Anyway, I don’t want to tell you more about the movie. I definitely recommend it though. It is really one of those movies that you want to take a leap of faith to go and watch. Don’t let anybody give you any ideas about it and spoil it for you.
But this is what I think I can tell you: We do it every day. Even though the movie takes it one step further (or 2 or 3 levels deeper actually), human beings constantly plant ideas in other people’s minds. More importantly, parents plant ideas in their kids’ minds all the time. Educators do it too. Now we all do it for good reasons, we are not trying to brainwash our kids but we have to realize the impact it can have on them.
Once the idea is heard enough to make its way into the subconscious, it is there, it is acquired and it will be very hard to remove. Now, this can be a very good thing if it is a good principle to live by.
But what if a parent keeps telling Little Johnny that it is normal that his spelling tests are so bad because nobody was ever good at spelling in the family? What if Little Sarah is constantly told that she is just not good at exams, just because of that one test she failed last year? What if parents and educators tell kids that dreaming big will only lead to disappointment?
What if your kids make these ideas that you plant in their minds their own, and take them for absolute truths? There is no way Little Johnny is going to try any harder at spelling given that he already knows that he is doomed by his genes. There is no way Little Sarah is going to go into an exam feeling confident if she already knows it is not her thing. What if kids simply give up on any idea because they think they’ll be disappointed?
But is Little Johnny really a bad speller or does he think he is and, therefore, doesn’t try and consequently doesn’t perform? Does Little Sarah really forget it all in her exams or does she actually spend the night before pacing up and down in anticipation instead of actually reviewing for the exam? How many geniuses could have changed the world but gave up too soon because we never allowed them to fail? Think about this when you talk to kids.
The question is: What is REALITY?
Anybody remembers this? Soccer World Cup 1998. “Grandeur et Décadence” as we would say… How sad!
I am simply shocked at what has been going on in the last few days. SHOCKED! Ashamed too. Deeply, deeply ashamed.
Is this middle school? A bunch of hormone fueled teenagers having a fight in the playground? “It’s not me, it’s him, it’s his fault, and I don’t like him and he called me a name and he told the coach what I told him not to tell and we are not friends anymore…”.
Or would that be actually too generous? Middleschoolers actually show more maturity!
And the French press keeps going at it, criticizing everything and everybody and building up the negativity. That team was bound to lose before they even set foot in South Africa!
Oh but back to the team: the strike! Yes, another way to go more deeply into disgrace! STRIKE?!? Are you kidding me?! The French Soccer NATIONAL selection for the WORLD CUP goes on STRIKE?
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot! So a bunch of brats don’t agree with the coach or are acting like kids while the whole world is watching their pathetic attempt at playing soccer and what do they do? They go on strike!!!! Do you think maybe one of them could have got the group together and worked things through and actually work on winning their last game or at least play decent soccer and show that there is still a French team? But no, let’s all just blame each other and everybody else and go on strike! And these players are all on million dollars contracts supposedly living their dreams!!! Talk about role models!!!
My heart goes out to the thousands of French kids and kids in other parts of the world who admire these people. You know those kids who take every opportunity to go and play soccer, those kids in Africa who kick an old can barefoot, those kids who put up posters of these guys up on their wall and would give up anything to be where they are. What a sad, sad picture! Enough to kill any kid’s dream!
It’s been a week that I have “officially” been on vacation. Feels good! And given that I have been in schools pretty much my whole life, I relate to what kids are feeling at the moment.
I think it is important to take the summer break seriously. It’s been a long year and kids need to rest. But at the same time, you don’t want your kids to be too idle. It will be way too hard to get back into the school rhythm and two full months or recuperation time can be wasted if not done the right way…
In my opinion, here’s the right way: first, rest! But this doesn’t mean going to bed in the middle of the night and getting up around noon. What you want your kids to do is go to bed maybe a bit later than the usual school time and sleep a little longer. Slow recuperation is much better and it will enable them to stay within reasonable range of their school timings.
Otherwise, there is no way they will be able to sleep at a reasonable during the first week back at school and before you know it, they will be just as tired as they were when the vacation started and you are back at square one.
The other thing is to keep your kids busy. There are a lot of camps available but if these are not an option, there are a lot of different community service projects that they can do. They can even take on something themselves in their neighborhood. How about making sure that everybody recycles on your street? Your kids can get a little group together and go around apartments or houses and collect cans for instance.
They also should spend time doing the things that they really love and that they don’t always have time to do the rest of the year. Explore their passions. Try something new.
And of course, there may be a bit of school work to do. Reading needs to be scheduled. We all know that kids will choose TV over a school required book. So work out a schedule.
If there are specific assignments, don’t do them now. Wait until you are nearer the time to go back. You can assess with your kids now how ling they think they will need. Then 2 or 3 weeks before school starts again, have a schedule put together so that they do a bit of work every day and have time to enjoy the vacation too. It will be the best way to get them back into school mode, to review what they need to so that they are fully prepared and to still take it easy and enjoy the break.
Have a fantastic summer!
…You’ll Never Work a Day in Your Life.
This is probably a fairly mediocre rendition of the original quote, and I have to admit that I don’t know who said it in the first place, but I hope that you all get the gist of it.
I was watching the interview of Marty Cooper, the father of the cell phone. What an amazing man! And would you believe? He is 81 years-old! Go on, look him up and you’ll see what I mean.
So what is the secret of his health and energy? PASSION! He is 81 and he is just about to start one of the most amazing projects to keep improving the way we use cell phones. A project that will take years to come to fruition. Does that stop him? Of course not!
So while some people think they are too old when they reach the big 4-0, Marty is twice that age and still living life to the full, unstoppable!
That’s simply because Marty found his passion and followed it.
So what is your passion? Have you found it? Are you prepared to live a life following it? A life where you don’t know that you are working? A life where you get up every day looking forward to it and where you can’t wait for tomorrow?
And what a great example that would be for your kids!
Happy day to all moms out there! Today is always a great day to be reminded how grateful our kids actually are. Even when they don’t show it, their mom remains their lighthouse.
Moms, even when it is hard to believe, know that the direction you give your kids is all they need, even if they resist it. You are always doing a great job and they know it.
They may not show it everyday, but they know who you are.
Thanks for all you do!
“On April 20, 1999, the nation’s worst school shooting took place at Columbine High School, Littleton, CO.”
This is how most articles talking about the tragedy start today. What makes me really think is the word “worst”… As if school shootings have become this “normal” thing…
The fact that this was the worst one suggests that there were more. School SHOOTINGS? Shootings at SCHOOL? How can this happen?
And as we remember this tragedy, I ponder on what teenagers are up against. What image does society have of them? Okay, they are not all like the people who decided to go and shoot randomly at people in a school, but who really thinks positively of teenagers?
How is it for them to leave up to such low expectations?
Classes were canceled at Columbine High School today. Many places had a moment of silence in memory of the victims. These were kids who had a bright future ahead of them. Kids who, one day, may have made a difference in the world.
They didn’t get that chance but let’s encourage all our young people to make a difference for them. Let’s not see them as less than what they really are. Let’s really have high expectations for them and the years to come, so that there is never another Columbine.
Just a Sunday quickie for you all! Children, teens, parents who are reading this, there is something that you really must understand and you need to start to apply it to your everyday life now: YOU GET TO SAY HOW IT IS!
I can’t tell you the number of kids I see who work under their potential because they have somehow convinced themselves that there is something that they can’t do.
Maybe it was the math teacher who once told them they couldn’t count… Maybe it was an surly English teacher who told them that they couldn’t spell… But the bottom line is this: If YOU say it, then it’s how it is going to be. It is this simple!
Worse still, if it becomes an affirmation, something that you have decided to be resigned about, it is going to stick even more! If your life depended on remembering the spelling of one word, believe me, you would become an excellent speller and the message that you would be repeating to yourself then would be: I can spell, I am the best speller in the world!
Parents, don’t let your kids come up with statements they made up because maybe they heard their peers say it or because they think it makes them sound “kooler” with their classmate. Don’t let them convince themselves that they are less than they can be. And use this for yourself too: Ban vocabulary such as “I can’t”, or “I’m stupid”, or “It’s not my thing” or “I get sick all the time”, or “I am not good in exams”… The list is endless!
Affirmations are very powerful. Dozens of programs make millions of dollars selling positive affirmations… It’s not rocket science! Just don’t generalize! Everybody makes mistakes. Every now and then, we all say something or do something that we could have done better. Do that mean it is the norm? NOOOOOOO!
People are very quick at drawing false conclusions about themselves, often because it is the easy way out or because it makes them look better… only for a time though. In the long run, it is destructive. And YOU are the only one who can decide WHO you want to be!
I really don’t want to get into political considerations but I feel it is important to stop on what happened yesterday in the United States.
I actually am pretty sure that many people are a bit confused about what this Health Care Reform really means for the American people and of course opinions will vary according to political views.
However, what strikes me in what just happened is that it is an amazing illustration of persistence and facing change. Not just from this administration or President Obama but from many more before him. Health Care has been on the agenda for years. And for years there have been discussions, agreements, disagreements, steps forward and backward..
There have been many people who have kept their vision and persisted to support what they believed in, they have kept going forward even at times when it seemed like it was going nowhere. They kept at it.
Change is not usually something that people like. Even though it happens all the time. Change will take place in the American Health Care system. Will it be good or bad? I don’t know. But it is a move forward.
The nation is taking risks and facing one of its biggest challenges. It is a sign of a powerful nation.
Being able to recognize a problem and persist for years and years to address it is a sign of a real leader, be it a nation, a people, a man, a woman or a child.
Persistence is a quality that you want to develop in yourself and in your kids. That’s the only way to go forward and be in control of your life.
So every year we hear about the Academy Awards Ceremony and the whole world tunes in. It is a big deal. Even if you are not into it, you have to admit that it is a big deal. This year, I didn’t go to the movies that much but I did see a few of the movies mentioned. I am very pleased that Sandra Bullock got the award for the Blind Side. And even though I am not sure I can quite take it, I am going to have to see Hurt Locker. And I have been wanting to see Crazy Heart so I am going to organize that.
What I like to think about is how it all started. A lot of these people have been in the profession for years and years. Some have already made it to a certain level of fame, others have kept loving what they do more anonymously, some only started recently, or so it seems.
But in reality, there is a whole story behind these few minutes of glory. It all seems like it only just happened, in a flash. For us, sitting at home watching TV, it feels like that. But these people know where they are coming from.
It started with an idea, a thought and then it became a vision and a relentless goal. Most of these people were not going for the Oscar. They were following their passion. And that passion made other people passionate about it. The Oscar is a bonus. A representation of their achievement. And when they look at the statuette, they’ll remember that they followed their dream and made it.
Your kids have dreams too. They have ideas that may sometimes sound wild to you. Just let them dream and encourage them to have wild ideas. One day, maybe we’ll see them getting their own version of an Oscar.
Ok, you think I have lost the plot… But actually not really…
Are your kids making money? Or do they have pocket money of some kind? Do you give them an allowance? (Talking of which, , why don’t you check Allowance Secrets? It’s a FREE eBook!) Wherever the money comes from, do they have any idea about gross and net? I hope they do because otherwise they are up for a very bad surprise when they get their first pay check! I am sure YOU know what I mean!
So even if they don’t actually pay taxes - and you don’t have to set yourself up as a mini IRS - I think it might be an idea to educate them about taxes. And what a better time than now? This is sadly something that is never taught in school.
So as you are going over your tax forms, whatever age your kids are, you can make sure that they understand that all the money they get is not actually theirs. You can tell them about income tax and the kind of expenses that show on your pay check and make it much leaner than it first appears.
It is also a good time to explain to them what tax deductible is and give them ideas on how to spend money wisely with that aspect in mind.
And of course, it is a perfect time to remind them that, even though school won’t necessarily teach them much about this, they have the opportunity to learn other skills that will allow them to have the career of their dream. And also that, much as nobody likes to pay taxes, it is a good sign that you have a good lifestyle when you do!
Parents are the first educators in a child’s life. Now is the perfect time to have your kids learn more about money.
It occurred to me yesterday while I was driving that this past weekend was not just like any other weekend.
Why? you ask… Valentine’s Day maybe? Well, this year was definitely the best celebration of Valentine’s Day I ever had and I hope it was a fantastic day for many of you! But there was way more to this past weekend:
First, on Friday, the Olympic Flame made it to Vancouver, marking the start of the Winter Olympics. The first Torch Bearer started on October 30th. 106 days later, the Flame made it to its final destination. I feel good about the world when I can see such an old tradition being kept alive, where people forget all their differences and really come together to celebrate what they enjoy.
Talking about enjoyment, a small island in the Caribbean is still celebrating. Carnival in Trinidad really started weeks ago, but this was the BIG weekend. The magical sounds of Steel Bands were heard on Friday night, Jouvert filled the night with music, laughter and dance in the very early hours of Monday and the party went on in an explosion of colors on Monday and Tuesday, with thousands of people jumping in the streets. And of course, today, the other famous Mardi Gras, in New Orleans, had a great victory to celebrate on top of the usual fun! Another couple of places where people are just people…
And of course Sunday also marked the beginning of the celebrations for The Chinese New Year, the Year of the Tiger. I don’t know much about it but I suppose I should say Happy New Year to all our Chinese, or Chinese-descendant readers. What I like to see it that the whole world is aware of this, which shows that we are really getting closer.
I will remember this weekend. An important one at the beginning of a brand new decade. A time where we celebrated love, passion, fun, unity, tradition, persistence and success, and also an awareness of a world growing to be more and more global.
A good omen for the years to come… I am glad I had the privilege to be a part of it.
Super Bowl Night is always a night to remember, but this last one is one that will leave its mark! And this is going to be an amazing Mardi Gras Celebration too!
The New Orleans Saints have to be praised for a great season. It is not by chance that they got to the Super Bowl and won it.
The team is a great example of persistence, belief, patience and positivity. They built their strengths over the past few years to become the team they are today.
They played with Spirit and you could feel it!
The Colts are also an amazing team but, Sunday night, they didn’t believe in it enough.
That’s the difference.
I am writing from downtown Chicago where I am staying for the weekend for a conference. It is my first time in Chicago. I have to admit that I would have preferred to be here in the summer, but it is interesting to see snow on the ground every now and then. It was snowing when I arrived yesterday.
I first heard about Chicago when I was a kid in a Tintin comic book. Then my very first American pen pal was from Chicago. For us in France, Chicago is one of those mysterious cities that we see on TV and that we dream of visiting.
There are people from everywhere where I am staying. Yesterday, I met a girl who is like me. She hates the cold. She is from Michigan… Not very warm there but she is thinking about trying new warmer places out.
Then there are people from Canada, and much as anyone would agree that it is cold here at the moment, it feels pretty OK for them.
So people are different. So are kids. As I was thinking of these people I met, I was thinking of expectations. I talked about encouraging kids to have high expectations of themselves and about how you can affect the way they perform.
This time I am thinking that, if you want your kids to grow as responsible, well-functioning adults in tomorrow’s world, they also need to be very open-minded and aware of other people’s ways.
If I was asked to describe Chicago today in one word, it would be “cold”, without hesitation. It is many other things too: it is very beautiful and very grand (Lake Michigan absolutely looks like the sea, I never imagined that!). For someone else, it will be “fantastic”, for another person, it could be “safe”, and so on…
People always start with a different experience, a different history that make them understand, see, live things a certain way. Sometimes we don’t agree with certain things people say.
Or maybe we simply don’t relate because we are coming from a different place. Your kids will be way more successful in everything they do if they can understand that. When they can show understanding and compassion to others (starting with you:their parents, their siblings, their peers, their teachers…), they will be on the road to excellence and success.
I wanted to share this video with you. It is being used at my school so I have edited it a bit. When teachers are mentioned, you can replace that with the word parents and you can have the discussion with your kids.
The whole thing started with an article about how people’s mindset and expectations - in that case, mainly that of teachers - affected kids’ performance. In other words, when teachers had high expectations of kids, results were better. When people push you by showing you how well you can do, you do better.
But the other question is: What about YOU? What do YOU think about yourself? In “As a Man Thinketh”, we learn that we become what we think about… What do your kids want to become? Are they really thinking that?
It is already almost the end of January and maybe already time to look back at our New Year’s resolutions…
Let’s be honest now. Are you still hanging on? How many of us have made it this far… And there are still over 11 months to go!
Well, don’t beat yourself up over it. It happens to the best of us. A lot of the time, the problem comes from the fact that we start with baggage. The very things in our lives that we want to change tends to show up even more when we make up our minds about changing them. And it becomes tougher than we thought so we give up.
So, ok… But remember, kids learn by example… So if you want your kids to have clear goals that they will achieve, you have to make sure that they leave the baggage behind. And in fact, in looking at this more closely for your kids, you might well find that it helps YOU with your goals too.
There are 2 categories of baggage in my opinion. First the “physical” baggage and, second, the “emotional/psychological” baggage.
The “physical” baggage is all the little bad habits that your kids have got into that make them disorganized. late, messy… You can’t have a clear picture of anything, let alone your near (or further) future if you are hiding behind a pile of papers, toys, PS3 games, etc. You can’t be clear about anything if your life is a series of picking up the messes you leave behind constantly.
If your kids’ lack of organization means they are late to school, don’t get to do their homework, forget their school supplies and so on, it will create a vicious circle where the same issues will get worse and worse, along with their perception of school and their capacity to get work done and enjoy the idea of learning. With that, it is very had to have school goals!
So the first thing to work on is that. Declutter, organize, manage time. Do one at a time but don’t even attempt anything else until this is covered.
And by the way, Better At School had a radio show just on this topic a couple of weeks ago. You can hear it here.
So then, when the practical side is taken care of, you need to look at the “emotional/psychological” baggage. This is a bit different. What I am talking about here is all the preconceived ideas that your kids have about school that have stuck with them for months, maybe even years. Ideas like: “the teacher doesn’t like me”, “I am not good in math”, “I am not a good writer”, “I forget everything in tests”…
These thoughts really affect your kids way more than you can imagine. Their attitude is shaped by these thoughts and their effort and performance is a direct reflection of that attitude.
So you really need to get these thoughts out of their head and start with a clean slate.
Then, when they are ready to start from scratch, you can start looking at their goals. Get them to dream and picture what their ideal life would be.
And THEN, you can talk about goals.
But if you want real practical advice about all this, you can get it all for just $1. Just visit http://www.betteratschool.com
I came across a couple of situations recently at school that really got me thinking back to the chapter on responsibility in my book.
One was a kid who had a detention because he had arrived late to school that morning. We casually chatted and he felt real injustice at the fact that he was basically paying for his dad’s mistake… Dad’s alarm had not gone off and the whole family ended up late.
What can you learn from this? Take your own responsibility! Get your own alarm clock, in fact get your DAD to buy you one. He owes you this at least, right? It doesn’t matter what age your kids are. Things happen. Oversleeping is a possibility. But once it’s happened once, let’s not dwell on it. Accept the fair consequences, regardless of who is to blame and just look at the ways to solve this issue: your dad is likely to make you late? Make sure YOU are the one up first every day! And realize that you could have done that months ago and not have had to be late that day…
Then another student was late to class in the middle of the day because of a bathroom stop, classrooms far apart and too many people in the hallway and need for supplies. Ok, these are very valid excuses. However, they are excuses. The question is: how can you organize yourself so that these absolute facts do not cause you to be late to class? It is called organization and time management. Bring everything you need with you and then you will only need to fight the crowd once if you need the bathroom.
And mostly, we are going back to responsibility and accountability. Actually have the maturity to accept that you could have done things differently and that you are actually going to do them differently from now on.
These are very important skills in life. When things get a bit tough in life - and they will - you will always have a choice to be a victim or to move forward. If you choose to be a victim, if you choose to blame the people and the circumstances around you, you will not reach your goals and fulfill your dreams.
If you start taking responsibility for yourself now, you are already closer to your dreams!
Be who your really want to be NOW.
"Florence was my son's class tutor in the high school he attended. When my son was offered a place at Eton, he had to start preparing for exams that would gain him entry when he turned 13. That was a real challenge as my son still needed to maintain the academics in his present school but he had to work on a completely different set of syllabus and some new subjects to prepare him for his entrance exam.
When I approached Florence with this dilemma, she was not only delighted that my son was offered a place in this highly academic school, she was most encouraging and helpful and went out of her way to ensure we have the support from the school and also different tutors that she had suggested to tutor my son. She is a strong believer in raising the standards and to challenge her students to their utmost capability. We have certainly benefited from her organizational skills in my son's study schedules to ensure that he was working hard but not completely overwhelmed in a highly demanding academic environment. More importantly she has highlighted the fact that to get the best out of your child, there has to be a very strong partnership between teachers and parents to provide the best support for the student."
