Jeremy Lin: A Story of Stereoptypes and The American Dream

February 15th, 2012 by admin

Here’s one guy that Malcolm Gladwell would have a field trip writing about! “Jeremy Lin’s missed by scouts blinded by their subconscious”. “Jeremy Lin, an “outlier”?”

Jeremy Lin does fit the Asian-American stereotype: he had a 4.2 GPA in high school and is a Harvard Graduate. Despite an impressive career with his high school basketball team, he doesn’t fit the Basketball stereotype… But if you take the time to learn about his story, you will find that, even though he was indeed looking at Ivy League schools, he was hoping for a spot in the basketball team. Harvard gave him that and didn’t regret it.

After a brilliant college career, you’d like to hear “and the rest is history”, but it wasn’t quite like that for Lin. There were times of glory and other times. There were times where he could have said “enough” and moved on. There were times where he would have had every reason to give up.

But he didn’t. He used the time to keep working on his game, to keep improving. He found a value in his circumstances and made the most of them. And it paid off in the end.

Yes, he was lucky. It all seems like a series of events got him where he is today, and you could call that luck. Or you could call it vision and attitude. Or perseverance and patience. And unwavering faith.

Jeremy Lin’s story is a good story. It is an inspiring story, and we are not even close to the end of it. Lin’s is a story of success which I hope young people get inspired with.

It is a story that shows that there is still an American Dream.

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“Good Healthy Stuff”

February 11th, 2012 by admin

chia-jam

In a constant effort to bring you the best possible parenting advice, Better At School decided to invite some guests to blog about some topics that are very dear to parents but that need to be covered by real experts.

So it is my great pleasure to introduce to you and welcome LindaJoy Rose, Ph. D, who will open our nutrition section:

Getting more healthy foods into your kids’ lifestyle may be easier than you think if you get them involved and make it a fun learning experience at the same time.

Of course, it’s necessary to educate your children about the impact different foods can have on their health and mental outlook but the best way to get them to change is to model it for them. Do some cleaning up and modifications in your own eating habits and they are more likely to mirror your example.

I have found that kids are not as turned off by the “good healthy stuff” if you turn food prep into a family affair. The best way to get started is by doing some magic tricks with your food! This is where a few of my recipes from Raw Fusion: Better Living Through Living Foods come in handy.

Being a raw foodist for several years, before settling more into a raw fusion lifestyle (blending the incredible benefits of living, enzyme-rich food with the comforts and convenience of more traditional meals) I learned how to use certain foods in totally surprising way as well as being exposed to the wonderful world of Superfoods.

Here are two fun recipes to get started: One of them will employ a vegetable that we think of more for salty and savory creations – the avocado, ideal for guacamole and chips. However, it makes a fantastic base for a chocolate pudding! If you make sure to mash it up well, no one would ever guess the source of creamy goodness! Best of all, it’s loaded with good fats, omega 3’s, antioxidants and is gluten-free and allergy friendly!

The second recipe employs an unlikely ingredient – Chia seeds, which have a fantastic nutritional profile, including high protein and amino acids. They are hydrophilic and absorb 20x their weight. Children and adults alike are entertained by the magical effect of seeing how the seeds turn the fruit into a delicious and delightful jam to spread on toast, waffles, for “PB & J” sandwiches or even as a dessert treat. You can easily find these now in the bulk section of your health food stores, prepackaged (these are more expensive) or source them online. For the cocoa powder you can use Hersheys or any other that is unsweetened and high in cacao (70% and above is ideal.)

See Dr. LJ on NBC’s Daytime Show making an Alternative PB & J with chia seeds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_ZA-RoJkTQ&feature=youtu.be

MAGIC JAM
Makes a “superfoods” jam/jelly with no pectin, safe sweetener and no animal products or preservatives.
Multiple Servings
Ingredients:
1 8 oz. bag of frozen berries (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries or blackberries all work well) – defrosted.
3 TB. of high quality maple syrup
4 TB. of chia seeds (you can find these in bulk bins or Superfoods section.

Directions: Blend defrosted fruits. If you want to make complete kid friendly they can mash the fruits with a potato masher to avoid using the blender. Add 2 TB of the maple syrup and test to see if sweet enough – if not add the extra TB. Add 4 TB. of chia seeds, mix well and let set for at least 20 minutes, stirring several times in between. The mixture should set like a jam or you can add another TB. of the chia seeds. Will keep, covered, up to 4 days in the fridge.

SURPRISE CHOCOLATE PUDDING
It’s quite a surprise to learn that you can make chocolate pudding with the “secret” ingredient below – you won’t even taste it!
1 Serving
1/2 ripe avocado
1-2 TB. maple syrup or raw honey
2-3 TB. of unsweetened cocoa powder.
Optional: Dash of vanilla

Spoon out avocado into a mixing bowl – with a large fork mash it well, add sweetener and mix – then sprinkle in 2 TB. of the cocoa powder. Mix thoroughly and taste – should be sweet with no real avocado taste, so adjust by adding more cocoa and/or sweetener.

These recipes are from Raw Fusion: Better Living through Living Foods volumes 1 and 2 copyright 2010 Quantum Mind Press, LindaJoy Rose, Ph.D.
Website: www.rawfusionliving.com

lj
LindaJoy Rose, Ph.D. is a therapist, healthy living advocate and wellness chef and author of 8 books. Residing in Tampa Bay, she is the creator of the “raw fusion movement” blending the incredible health benefits of raw foods with the comfort and convenience of mainstream meals. Dr. Rose is also a pioneer in the implementation of hypnotherapy training in many countries and helps people worldwide create positive mindsets for change. A regular healthy living expert on NBC’s Daytime Show, she is also the raw foods expert on eHow.com. Visit her website for more info www.rawfusionliving.com Fan us on Facebook for daily recipes for mind, body and spirit. http://www.facebook.com/rawfusionliving

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Superior Parenting?

February 8th, 2012 by admin

Bringing Up Bébé

As always, people get very defensive when they get compared to another person or group, even on something that they wouldn’t normally even worry about.

This is true of the latest parenting buzz triggered by the publication of “Bringing Up Bébé” by Pamela Druckerman. I haven’t yet read it, by the way, but I intend to! Give me a chance to log on to my audible account.

What I have done though, is read a very good article on the Wall Street Journal site and watched the author’s interview on it. And then I just randomly came across another article, which is also well worth reading, defending American parenting against “Tiger Moms” and “Frenchie Moms”.

Both articles can be found on the Better At School Facebook page if you are interested.

Now, what I find interesting is that both writers are suggesting that French parenting is superior or better and of course, they are getting reactions…In both cases, the common denominator is that American parents are not as good.

And what I find funny is that, as Druckerman points it out, the crisis in parenting in the US is not exactly a new topic of conversation, and there is a bit of a consensus that there are some issues there… But God forbid that it may be compared to other nations…

Anyway, as I was raised in France, I have to agree with a lot of what I heard Druckerman say so far. It is definitely something that I noticed, but I don’t particularly stop on the fact that these characteristics are typically French.

Do I see a difference in the way kids are raised in this country? Definitely. Does it mean that the kids are not as well raised? Not necessarily. But did Druckerman mean to start this debate? I am not sure.

From what I gathered in her interview, in the extracts I read from the book and from what I understand her rationale behind writing the book is, I think she is just trying to share good tips that may help a lot of parents raise happy kids and be happier themselves.

However, from my personal experience living in several different countries and working as a teacher, I do see cultural differences in the way parents raise their kids. And of course each set of parents is different, but you can’t deny that the cultural background plays a part and you can, therefore, draw some general conclusions.

From a teacher’s point of view, my main observation about the US, is that many parents leave the whole of education to schools. They seem to think that schools will replace the role that a parent can play in teaching life skills and values that are essential to becoming a successful adult. What those parents forget is that the primary role of education is instructing children on topics that all parents are not expected to know. They also forget that there are 24 hours in a day and most kids will spend an average of 8 at school. This leaves 16 when kids are with their parents… learning from them.

I have to say that I see this way more here in the US than I have seen it anywhere else. My explanation for it is not so much that parents don’t care, but more that parents are very busy and don’t always have the time to “educate” their children. Or, in some case, they really don’t make the time. Parents have kids and expect their lives to be the same as it always was… It isn’t.

This brings me back to Druckerman and her observations of French parenting. I do believe that there is a very clear cultural understanding in France that “educating” kids is the parents’ job. By educating, I am talking about exactly the stuff that Druckerman mentions: not interrupting, learning to live in public in a way that is not going to put others out, consideration, respect, understanding boundaries and being able to live an independent life.

You see, when kids come to school, it is expected that their parents have already taught them these things, even at a very young age. And parents take this responsibility very seriously and are very proud to hear that their kids are well behaved.

Have I ever met French kids with no manners? Oh yes! Have I seen French parents repeat “non” to their kids 10 times and give up? Oh yes! Do I know American parents whose kids are little angels, whom you want to take everywhere with you because you would be so proud? That too! Of course.

But really, I think that this is not what the debate is about. It is very true that there are way less issues with French teenagers than American ones. And we can’t discount the possibility that this might be linked, at least partly, to their upbringing. So if a few American parents find this advice useful, I say everybody wins!

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“Living The Dream”

January 29th, 2012 by admin

kayak1

When asked how she is, a friend of mine often likes to answer: “Living the dream!”. I love hearing this because it always reminds me to be grateful and keep a positive attitude in life. I am absolutely convinced that little things like such statements are what turns things around for people and allows them to really “live the dream” in the end.

Then the other day I went kayaking. It was a glorious day, the sea was very still and the temperature couldn’t have been better. When we first arrived at the address we had been given for the kayak launch, it turned out to be just a side parking lot for a nature park in the mangroves. I was a bit surprised at first and then I saw Crocodile Dundee…

Ok, it was not really him but it was this guy looking very much like him, with the same kind of hat and very similar “No worries, Mate” attitude. I think he had some kind of teeth on his hat too… maybe gators?

Anyway, when I saw that guy, I thought: “Yep, HE is living the dream.” There was a kind of peace about him that suggested that. It wasn’t just because he was obviously a kayak expert and he made it into his job. It seemed to me that he had found the right balance in life of using his passion for others and still enjoying it himself.

And, shouldn’t it be how everybody should live?

You see, when I talk to kids, I hear very few of them thinking of living any form of passion. Some who play sports, yes. Somewhere, there is always the hope that you’ll make it into the NBA or the NFL. But even for these kids, there is a plan B.

For the majority of kids, there is no sense of looking at their future career from an inner point of view. The approach is never: what do I really like? What am I good at and what do I love that I could do for the rest of my life? How can this passion I have help or server other people?

The school system doesn’t cater for passion. School is a very well traveled road that has worked for many so we are taught to just follow it. Kids work for grades and SAT scores but rarely think of where all this will take them.

Now, I am not saying this to criticize schools. Schools can’t do everything. Your kids are at school on average 8 or 9 hours a day. There are 24 hours in a day and many of these hours are spent at home. Parents still have a role.

So, yes, you need to make sure that your kids do their homework and pass their exams. But don’t forget that you are there to do what school doesn’t do. You are their first and primary role models. So talk to them about what they like, their skills, their unique abilities that make them who they are. Encourage them to develop these and think of ways to make a living out of them, so that, one day, THEY can be “living the dream”.

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How to Make the Most of Mini-Holidays

January 14th, 2012 by admin

Relaxing Weekend

Even though we’ve only been back at school for a couple of weeks, it seems like the benefit of the Holiday Season’s break was only short lived…

Which brings me straight to today’s point: these mini-holidays that your kids get are crucial for them to recover. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day is a HOLIDAY. It means that your kids should be resting.

Whether they get a half day off school or an extra day for an official public holiday or because of teaching planning, they need to make the most of that time to cut off from school and relax.

If they have homework, they will not fully enjoy their time off if, in the back of their mind, they know that they have to do some homework. Therefore, they need to get it out of the way.

If it means staying up a bit on Friday night, or devoting Saturday morning to get it all done, then be it. But then, the weekend can really start, with a CLEAR MIND.

No worry about the project, no worry about the difficult math homework, no worry about how long it will take. The rest that you enjoy when you know you have done everything you need to do is invaluable compared to when you have something on your mind.

Think about it: if you went on vacation knowing that you left an important client with unfinished business, would you be able to enjoy your vacation? How often do you think you would be haunted about what you are going to find when you get back?

The last time I made this point to a 4th grader, he took it to the next level: His mom now tells me that he goes straight to doing his homework without being told every day. And mom and kids are both much happier.

So as we say Happy Birthday to one of the greatest men of American history, why not try something new?

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Enough of the Negative Self-Talk

January 10th, 2012 by admin

I had a conversation with a teenager today and he kinda set up a challenge for himself… or to prove me wrong, I am not sure. Nevertheless, I thought I should really mention what I hear too much of in teenagers, or even younger kids, and it scares me:
NEGATIVE SELF-TALK.

And even if it is not quite negative, it will be silly statements that have no reason to be uttered and that are often part of an image that kids like to portray. Which is often a more negative image than who they really are.

For example: I have stopped counting the students who will state out loud constantly that they can’t take exams. They just go blank. Or they’re not good at this kind of exercise. Well, as I say to them, your actions are always going to be directly connected to the goal or the picture you have in mind. If you see yourself as a failure in examinations, subconsciously, your actions are going to have to fit with that image. It is a psycho-cybernetic mechanism, kinda like when a plane is on course towards its destination, the auto-pilot will readjust the course with each slightest change of direction. Bob Proctor goes over this in more details in his seminars. Well worth checking out, by the way.

I also hear girls stating random descriptions of themselves, like “my hair is useless”, or “I can’t run”, or “my family has a history of this ailment.” Again, there is always going to be a cyber-mechanism there, but more importantly, these statements will become excuses for not being able to participate in something, or do the work that is required, be it school work or anything else.
Now this kind of conditioning, in the long run, will really affect your self-image as an adult. All these ideas become incrusted in your mind and will be very dangerous. They allow limiting beliefs to rule your lives.

Indeed a perfect example today: So the teenager I was talking too stated that his time management was always terrible. He even added that he often sets impossible goal to himself, which means that he won’t be able to fit it all in. so I told him that was exactly it: he has to have these impossible tasks so that he can keep with the “I have bad time management” story. All he needs to do is change is story to: “I get everything done and my time management is perfect”.

He seemed quite intrigued by the idea and decided to give it a week and get back to me. I am kinda thinking it might take a little longer, but you know how kids are nowadays…

In any case, as parents, we sometimes hear our kids so much that we don’t always pick on those kinds of statements. And that’s fine. But when you do, please correct your kids. They start very young, what with peer pressure and TV shows, to create images of themselves that are not them. The sooner you can have them see who they really are, the happier they will be.

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Sometimes I Worry…

January 6th, 2012 by admin

I was just reading about the Republican primaries and the “Ron Paul Effect” in Iowa and New Hampshire, that seems to be taking everybody by surprise. And then I thought about one of Les Brown’s videos that I watched last night, titled “You Must Stay At It”. And then I thought about a part of the book “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell. And finally, all this brought me to school kids.

Yes, I’ll explain in a minute.

First, let me please say that I remain neutral in politics as a rule. I always find that I am not educated enough to talk about it, being relatively new to this country. However, I can say that in any political arena, here or overseas, it is always very interesting to explore politicians’ careers in retrospect.

A lot of politicians here sort of seem to appear out of the blue. See in my country, things work differently and media coverage is supposed to be equal for whoever is a presidential candidate. As long as they managed to gather the necessary number of signatures to enter the presidential race, they are good to go and they will get the same media representation as the current president, if he is re-running.

Whereas here, it seems like, one day, you start hearing about a new person and they become a likely future president, just like that.
Well, of course I know it doesn’t happen just like that. I may not have heard of them but someone, somewhere has. And that’s where Les Brown and Malcolm Gladwell come into this. In the video I watched yesterday, Les Brown says this: “Most people invest 2500 hours in what they study, but the masters, 10,000 hours.” In Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell has a whole section of successful people who put it their 10,000 hours.

That’s why I like to look at the life and career of those politicians that seem to appear on the scene suddenly, to find out about their 10,000 hours and how they really stayed at it to get to where they are now.

And then I thought of those assignments that I give the students an hour or 90 minutes to complete, because I feel that, to make a good job of it, they need about that.

And then I thought of the few who rushed through the work to complete it in a few minutes instead. And I worry a bit…

My assignments are no big deal. I worry about the attitude. I understand that we are in a fast pace world. I love the fact that I can be pretty much anywhere and google whatever question I have. You know: The name of this actor you saw the other day in a movie and that has completely slipped your mind. Less than a minute on a smart phone and here’s the answer, as opposed to hours of trying to remember and getting frustrated.

I love the fact that so many things are just there, at my finger tips. But I also realize that NOT EVERYTHING works like that.
And sometimes I worry when I talk to kids who are about to go to college and who think that an hour or two spent on a major project is enough… or when I see kids who start reviewing for ALL their finals a week before and think it will cut it. And I worry when these same kids, who have so much more potential, are perfectly satisfied with a low C…

Maybe I should not worry after all… Maybe the world of technology is changing so fast that people won’t need their 10,000 hours to reach mastery after all. Maybe we’ll have microchips that can turn you into an airline pilot instantly. And chips that turn you into a successful politician too…

Still, even if things move very fast, I am not sure all this is like to happen for this generation about or close to go to college. I think these kids might not really be ready for college. And frankly, given the cost, I think they should think twice about going.

But most kids will pull it off and make it through college but then what? You see, I wonder if this coming generation is really prepared to put in the effort to make something out their lives and to do what it takes to get there. I really see way too many kids give up before they have even started… I wonder if too many of these kids are going to settle for less than they are worth…
And I really wonder where it leaves us as a society.

And I worry sometimes…

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Move, Move, Move!

January 3rd, 2012 by admin

For those of you who know me well, you’ll remember that I have strong convictions on certain “fashionable” learning disabilities… As I say, I am talking about my convictions; I can back them up by my own examples gathered in my long career, or observations I have made. However, I am not saying that I am right –I haven’t seen or done all the research- and I do not deny that these may exist. I just tend to find that some therapists may tend to jump to conclusions.

However, I do think that stuffing young children with even more chemicals than they are already consuming anyway, is certainly not the best way to deal with those issues. I also question the amount of money that is involved in the learning disabilities industry and wonder where the real priorities are.

But anyway, a friend of mine, who is also a Brain Gym specialist, shared this link with me: A very interesting discussion and great findings about the correlation between physical activity and learning. And what I really like about it, is that it really confirms what I believe about all these so-called disabilities and various symdroms.

http://webtalkradio.net/2011/10/02/healthy-alternatives-%E2%80%93-moving-your-body-affecting-your-mind/

Note particularly the story of the people who live on water, and the example of the autistic children who stopped showing signs of autism…
Also listen carefully to the part about stress towards the end.

My thoughts are pretty simple on all this: Too many kids in the US simply lack minimal activity. We talk about it in terms of obesity and health issues, but rarely does learning get taken into account.

Kids need to move, they need to play outside, they need to walk to school and to their other activities. That would be a very simple start. And parents? Well, you need to make it happen. You need to take responsibility for having kids and do what is right for them.

Kids need to play sports, breathe real air –not recycled air from an AC unit-, they need to run and climb trees; they need to play real soccer, not FIFA or fake tennis on the Wii!

Get your kids to walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator, walk the 10 minutes to the grocery store with your kids and have them help you carry the stuff back.

On Sunday afternoon, find somewhere to go for a hike, or just get out in your backyard and play with your kids!
And you know what? It is going to be good for the whole family, not just your kids. If you think you don’t have the time, MAKE it! How important is your kids’ future?

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Happy 2012: Burning The Bad Stuff Away

December 31st, 2011 by admin

Happy 2012 from Better At School

It is already 2012 in France and on the other side of the world, so it is indeed time to turn a new leaf, or to continue the story we’ve been writing all this time.

I did a quick Facebook check this morning and I came across this blog post and video by Randy Gage. If you don’t know Randy, you really should check his site out, starting with this particular blog:

http://www.randygage.com/blog/a-burning-bowl-ceremony-for-the-new-year/

I love the idea of physically getting rid of limiting beliefs and any ideas that hold us back. It is great to spend some time looking inward and being true to oneself about what is holding us back. I plan to sit down and do this between now and tomorrow. But as I was reading the blog and listening to Randy, it occurred to me, again, how a lot of adults would tend to be resistant to the idea, while children would just go for it and move on happily, with a much lighter head.

So, how about spending some time with your kids doing a “Burning Bowl Ceremony”? Whatever age they are, I am sure they have things they struggle with, especially at school. All you need to do is simplify the vocabulary and adapt it to their age level.

It is also a great way to identify negative self-talk that your kids may use, that you might not have noticed. You’d be surprised how peer pressure can sometimes make kids come up with ideas that never entered your household before. But this should be another blog, another time.

So back to the Burning Bowl. First of all, the idea of a mini bonfire in your driveway or balcony is going to get your kids super excited, so that is a great start. And then, the actual physical destruction of the things they don’t like is going to make complete sense to them.

Do the exercise together. Start mentioning the things that “don’t serve you”. Let them express the things that annoy them or make them sad, stuff they struggle with at school or in their other activities. It can be very simple.
For instance, it could be about a teacher they don’t like, or the fact that they have a fear of exams, or a belief such as: “I am not good at math.” Or it could be “I am too fat”, or “I am not popular enough.”

If you have teenagers, just remember how simple things could take over your world sometimes, so let them write that down and replace it by a viable alternative. If you can’t think of an alternative –teenagers are sometimes hard to convince!- then just burn the part that they don’t like.

Kids will really just get that it is gone, that simple. And then it means that it will be gone from their mind, which in turns means that they can start with a clean slate.

What is left is a sort of year map for 2012, or at least the frame for it. The new beliefs, the new decisions will be the background of the canvass they are painting for the next 12 months and beyond.

Other than a great opportunity to spend quality time with your kids, you’ll be very surprised at how much difference it will make.
Do let me know how it went, for you and for the next generations. Tell me how your kids reacted during the whole ceremony and please, if you can remember, post your results in a few weeks or months!

Happy 2012 every one! May it be your best year yet!

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The Beginning of the End

November 27th, 2011 by admin

Practice makes perfect

No, I am not talking about the end of the world in 2012… I’m thinking that we’ll still all be around so I am thinking more practical stuff right now: Midterm or final exams.

Yep, it is really the beginning of the end of this semester. If you have kids in high school, they are probably already feeling the pressure. Quite rightly so…

It is becoming more and more obvious to me that too many high school students are lacking basic notions of what exams are about and what it takes to pass a final or some form of very summative assessment that covers a long period of previous study.

And yes there is always the argument that exams are not what happens in real life but I am not actually that sure that it isn’t.

Much as I realize that teenagers are living in a fast pace world and tend to get everything they need here and now, we all know that this doesn’t work with exams. But isn’t is also true of life?

You see we get the illusion from the media that thing happen overnight. Let’s talk about Lance Armstrong for instance. One year, we suddenly hear about this guy who wins one of the most competitive, hardest, most sought after cycling races in the world. Add his medical history to the victory and you have the perfect dream news item that everybody wants to hear. And then he wins it again and again, 7 times in a row. Unheard of! A true American hero.

Great!

But what the story doesn’t tell is how he got there. Do you really think that he picked up a bike one day in 1999 and said to himself: “I am going to win the Tour de France.”? No. We got to know him that year but, before that, we are talking about hours and hours of training, for years. Nobody knew him then and he could have given up, especially when you know the rest.
Hours and hours. In fact, probably at least 10 000 hours.

In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell talks about a few successful people who “made it overnight” too… But he looks into the rest of the story. The Beatles performed in Germany for hours and hours, with no breaks for weeks over long period of times. They didn’t hold back when they got the opportunity. They didn’t wonder how hard it was going to be, they just did it. Practice makes perfect. They got their 10 000 hours in.

Bill Gates spent hours on end, night and day, programming, when only a very small number of people even had access to computers. By the time he left high school, he had more experience with computers than anyone else could dream of. He got his 10 000 hours too.

You see, there is no secret. Life is not that different to taking exams. The difference between the two is that, if you didn’t study very much this time, you might get a bad grade. It might suck but you’ll live through it.

But when it comes to your life, you don’t always get a second chance. You have dreams and they will come true with the effort you put in them. With your 10 000 hours. And it won’t always be easy; there will be times where you want to give up. There will be times where you are going to wonder whether it is worth it.

So it might be a good idea to start practicing with exams. I think it would be very good training for the rest of your kids’ lives to understand that everything worth it comes with some effort. It doesn’t actually happen overnight. To pass your midterms, review doesn’t start a week before. It started weeks ago, little by little, topic after topic, concept after concept. And then it all comes together.

When your kids get an A, they’ll understand the concept of the 10 000 hours. And they’ll be ready to accomplish their dreams in “real life”.

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Giving Thanks to Education

November 22nd, 2011 by admin

Just a little pre-Thanksgiving reflection…

I was having my nails done yesterday. I went for hot pink on my finger nails, a first… Trying to make it last until Thanksgiving day, but that is not the point. I was chatting with my nail technician who had done a bunch of different jobs over the past few years, in fast food restaurants and retail. He said he enjoyed doing this now but he really wanted to work with cars… I thought it was an interesting route to get there, but at least he didn’t throw himself into something he wasn’t sure about and build up debt that would take him years to pay off in a field that wasn’t remotely his thing, let alone his passion. But I’ll go more into this in another blog.

As I was commenting on all the mini Pokemon dolls he had on the counter, he said how much he missed being a kid with no worries, going to school, having fun with his friends… I thought, wow, he should come and talk to kids in schools to remind them of what they have.

So as this is the time of year, I’d like everybody to take a minute to think of the state of education in this country.

No, I don’t mean how crap it is!

I actually mean how lucky we all are here to have children who don’t ever have to wonder whether they are going to go to school or not. I mean to stop believing all the misleading images that the media shows to portray violent schools with good for nothing children and useless teachers.

There are millions of American children who happily go to school in the US every day. They do not get bullied and they are not faced with some psycho who decided to bring a knife or an automatic weapon to school. There are millions of American children who go to school and enjoy what they are learning and make great things with it. There are even some who turn millionaires.

There are millions of first or second of third generation immigrant children who go to school and love the fact that they would never enjoy the life of freedom they have if it wasn’t for their parents’ or grand-parents’ move to this country.

There are millions of kids who go to school every day, and even though they may moan about it and call it boring, they are getting an education, which is more than a lot of the rest of the world can say.

This is obviously terribly boring news so you won’t see it on TV, read it on line or hear it on the radio… However, it is the reality. What you see/hear/read in the news isn’t. Yes, like in any other field, there is always room for improvement. But focusing on the negative because it pays more is not going to make it happen.

So when you hear some very unusual bad news about a school miles away from your kids’, just turn the TV off and go and ask your kids what kind of a cool day they had at school. Ask them about their latest projects and the new things they are learning. It will be way more productive for the whole family.

And make sure you enjoy a fantastic Thanksgiving!

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NOT Keeping up with the Kardashians!

August 1st, 2011 by admin

Kardashians

So last night I watched a relaxing movie, and as it ended, I started to check emails and Facebook and left the TV on. Keeping up with the Kardashians came on. Wow! First it was background noise and then it caught my attention!

The family is at the dinner table and one of the teenage girls is moaning because her friends are waiting for her at the movies. As she is texting away, her dad politely reminds her about the “no phone at the dinner table” rule, which she of course totally ignores, while declaring that she is not staying for dinner and walking away to the kitchen!

Dad follows and demands that she returns to the table, to “at least” finish her main course. She refuses saying that she will eat where she is. And this is where it stops… We’ll never know the end of this conversation but maybe you can imagine…

And then it gets even better!

Dad is outside somewhere playing with his remote helicopter with his son when he gets a call from the credit card company asking him to approve transactions that he knows nothing about… so he figures he needs to talk to his 2 teenage daughters!

Their answer to charging a bunch of new clothes onto their dad’s credit card (obviously without asking first): “Come on Dad, it’s not like it is the first time we use your credit card! Anyway, we’ve got friends waiting for us” and they walk out of the room!

WHAT? THAT’S IT??

And the answer to all this is dad’s great idea to have them spend a day at the homeless shelter in LA. And of course, after that, they are both changed and humbled and totally get how lucky they are!

YEAH RIGHT!

They learned nothing!! They STOLE their dad’s credit card (yes, if you don’t ask for permission, it is called stealing!) and got away with it!

Are they going to do it again? Of course! Are they going to keep disrespecting their parents and walk out on them? Of course!

Now don’t get me wrong. If you have money and you want your kids to get the best, that is fine. It is a good thing. But there is a way to do it. Allowing them to steal your credit card is not the way!

In any case, I learned something yesterday! If I want material on bad parenting, I just need to watch Keeping up with the Kardashians. And parents, if you want to know what good parenting is, just watch it and do exactly the opposite! Your kids will be great!

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How To Screw Up Your Kids in 10 Easy Steps

June 27th, 2011 by admin

Parenting must be overrated… It’s all fine and dandy: we meet, we like each other, we get married and we have kids, because it is great to have kids. You can play with their new cool toys that didn’t exist in your days, you can go to baseball games, soccer games, dance shows, you can meet other proud moms and dads and you can learn great things with your kids too.

Yes, well, there is a bit more to parenting than the fun part of it. It seems that people don’t quite think about that at the time of conception and keep living in denial throughout “raising” their kids.

Oh yes, because you are also supposed to raise them. It doesn’t mean just feeding them and clothing them. It means also teaching them to be good, worthy citizens and arming them with the skills to make it on their own in a responsible, successful manner.

But as it seems that so many parents are finding more and more ways to make sure that their kids will have it as tough as possible once they are out there in the world, I thought I would make it easier for those of you who are doing your best to screw up your kids’ lives. Here are 10 easy steps that will guarantee them having to learn the hard way and blaming you for it! Make sure to take note.

1- Listen to your kids

Absolutely. Your kids are always right and they will NEVER lie to you. Especially when they got in trouble at school or somewhere else. Always make sure that you take their word for everything they tell you, and never listen to the other side of the story. Because of course, the teacher/coach/friend is an absolute liar.

2- Make excuses for your kids

Sure! Kids are very innocent and they can never think of excuses themselves! So make sure that YOU come up with something! If your high-schooler was up all night watching TV or playing games and gets an F on an assignment that he never handed in, do call the school to complain! And make sure you get an extension! God forbid that an F would ever show on his transcript! Oh and of course when he is older and running his own business and doesn’t meet his own deadline, his business will surely thrive, so why bother training him to be accountable now! He’ll learn!

3- Show that you always know better

Kids learn by example more than anything else! So make sure that your kids learn to be “assertive” by showing them that YOU know better than everyone else. A bit of arrogance is always a good thing, and really and truly, most people are morons and don’t know what they are talking about! Especially coaches and teachers! Or experts of any kinds! Just show them who’s boss!

4- Say “yes” to everything

God forbid that you would ever have a disagreement with your little darling! She wants to eat 4 bagels with double cream cheese and syrup on it? Of course. Not a problem. It doesn’t matter that she can barely make it up the staircase, there is an elevator in pretty much every building nowadays. Oh, she wants a brand new iPhone that you can’t afford. That’s ok, there are plenty of credit cards. She has to know that she is a Princess and she can have anything she wants…

5- Make promises you won’t keep

So you promised to take your kids to Disney World, but your best buddy is in town so you decide to reschedule. Hey, life is unfair, things happen. The kids are upset? Awww… Well, that’ll prepare them to know that you really can never trust anyone in life. They are children after all, they’ll get over it! They have to learn that you can’t always get what you want in life. And your parents were way worse anyway.

6- Never follow through with consequences

“We are NOT going to that concert if you don’t make it back home on time!” Well, the thing is, I already paid for the tickets and I really want to go… Oh well… It was not such a big deal, really, he was only half an hour late. I was worried sick but he is ok… Another time. Kids need to learn that they can push boundaries. Laws are there to be broken, right? They may have to justify their actions in front of a jury one day but hey! They’ll cross that bridge when/if they come to it!

7- Always let them misbehave and be obnoxious in public places

Hey, consideration is an old-fashioned concept. It doesn’t matter that your kids are running around the grocery store knocking things and people off. Geez! We live in a big world! People have to learn to live with each other! We have freedom in this country and we fought for it. Well, not us per se, but you know… Anyway… When they are older and have to deal with a boss or any other authority figure, they’ll know to have fun!

8-Never communicate with the school

Aww, your poor daughter is not feeling well this morning. For sure she should stay in bed. In fact, she was not well yesterday either, and also last week and then she had to take that test that he missed and she said she felt too poorly to do her homework. But today, there can’t be another test, surely. And she really wants to make it to her soccer practice this afternoon, so she needs to rest. Not sure how she is doing in school because we never check the grades, but surely, they would call. And it is not like she could be bullied and not wanting to go to school, right?

9- Give your kids all the money they want

And let them buy anything they want with “their” money (the one that you give them when they ask for it). They don’t need to get the value of anything because you have plenty anyway. It is a given. They need to get money. They’ll figure out how to make it themselves later. There’s no rush!

10- Put pressure on your kids

Hey, you went to Harvard and that’s were your son is going… Brains are hereditary, it is a known fact and what you like is what your son likes. You won’t accept any less than straight A’s in everything. Never mind if he is up all night. And he’s not really stressed, just a few “lost” papers and hidden grades… So what? You made it, he will!

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To Dope or not to Dope? That is the Question, Lance…

May 23rd, 2011 by admin

armstronghamilton

Wow, what an interview last night on 60 minutes!

I hate to say that all this doesn’t surprise me, but, really, it doesn’t. I grew up in France and doping in cycling is really old news. However, after listening to the interview, I kinda feel that I may have been naive as to the level of corruption involved…

Well, I can’t say that I believe that Lance Armstrong is innocent. I am an occasional cyclist and a former triathlete (only mini triathlon, nothing like the insanity of an Ironman) and I just thing that something like the Tour de France or any of the big races are simply inhumane and there is no way that, even the most amazing athlete could do it without any kind of doping. That is what I believe.

What I also believe is that these guys are amazing athletes and that they have all their eggs in one basket and it is almost a question of life or death that they make it to something like the Tour de France.

And I also believe that, when you are that close to your life goal and that it is made clear to you that it is the only way forward and up, you are left with a very tough choice.

And much as I am a very strong believer that each and every one of us is responsible for one’s choices, what is at stake there is unimaginable for most of us. And I am not just talking about the money…

My main concern in all that is that, yes, maybe Lance Armstrong is going to go down with the rest of them, but there is a part of me that felt very uncomfortable watching Tyler Hamilton speak yesterday: somewhere he is a victim of a system that is, as it was very well demonstrated yesterday, powerful beyond belief and where hidden agendas are the norm.

These athletes are pawns whose lives are in the hands of very shady people, who hopefully, are starting to be kept awake at night.

I am not saying that the cyclists should get away with it. But I think that Hamilton made it pretty clear: at the end of the day, what does it all mean? It doesn’t matter what the public believes when YOU know what you’ve done. We all have a conscience…

In the meantime, we are only a few weeks away from the next Tour de France… I am hoping that things will have moved forward in this investigation. And, mostly, I am hoping that the REAL culprits will be the ones we hear more about.

To get back to the question about Lance… Well I have my conviction. I really do think he did it, just like every other cyclist. Should he own up to it? Yes, I think so. I would have more respect for him for sure. At this point, even if you are a great fan and refuse to believe it, I think there is already far too many questions around his name. If he can prove that he didn’t, I’ll be very happy for him and very impressed. But the point remains that the doping issue exists and it needs to be handled where it starts: at the very top.

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The Royal Wedding

April 28th, 2011 by admin

will-and-kate
It’s tomorrow!!

Well, I am simply excited! I am also very glad that, so far, in my life time, I’ve been able to witness TWO Royal Weddings from the same family. The first one was actually on my birthday in 1981! And I think I also have a good chance to see the next King of the United Kingdom being crowned… Exciting!

I am also very happy that the new Princess actually has a degree. It is quite a new thing apparently and an interesting sign that times change. And that Prince William was actually able to choose his future wife himself…

It is refreshing to see the interest drawn by such an event! In our so-negative world, a true-life fairy tale is good to see!

I do wonder how tough it is for a young girl to face that kind of celebrity. I have a lot of respect for Kate Middleton. She is taking on more than many women could ever cope with. Yes, she will be a Princess but, wow! I am not sure how it feels to walk down the street to your car with a wall of photographers ahead of you… When all you are doing is getting out of the office!

But hey, the story of the dairy maid and the beautiful Prince is still what we all dream about! Even if some of us won’t admit it!

In any case, I want to wish both of them a very happy, stress free marriage! As “normal” as possible!

God Bless!

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Let’s Be Wrong and Fail

April 25th, 2011 by admin

I watched this very interesting video and I really wanted to share it. I think it is one of the most important messages that parents and kids need to hear today.

Last weekend, Better At School hosted the Powerful Parenting Workshop. My part in it was to talk about the importance of failing for kids nowadays. I insisted on the good lessons that kids can learn from making mistakes.

Well Kathryn also adds this hugely important aspect of being so scared to be wrong that you end up being way too sure…

Please have a look at this video, we all need to ponder on it!

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St Patrick and the Pot of Gold

March 17th, 2011 by admin

leprechaun-01

Happy St Patrick’s day to you all, Irish or not!

Other than the fact that St Patrick’s day is always a reason to gather with friends and socialize, I also like it because it marks “the beginning of the end” at school.

It is the last stretch to the Pot of Gold at the end of the year for your kids too!

So now would be a good time to reflect on the past few months and motivate them to brace themselves for the next few weeks… to end in flying colors.

Just sit for a few minutes with your kids and recap on the year so far: what did they learn up to now, not just in academics, but about themselves? What new skills are they going to take with them this summer that they didn’t have before? And what strengths did they discover? What weaknesses do they need to manage to end the year?

And where do they want to be 8-9 weeks from now? What would be a great reward for them, just from what they achieved at school this year?

What is THEIR pot of gold?

Have a great day!

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Tampa Mom Reacts To Her Son’s Bad Grades

February 21st, 2011 by admin

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Just as I was publishing another article about teachers in Wisconsin, I came across this other article about this Tampa Mom who had her son stand at a street corner with a sign pointing out his failure at school.

It seems that opinions vary as to whether it was the right thing to do to discipline the child and get him to do something about his grades, which apparently were good up to last year. So I guess we’ll have to keep an eye on the kid’s progress…

I am choosing not to comment about her method at this point but what I want to say to this mom is “good for you Ma’am, at least you are taking charge of your child’s education and not blaming someone or something else for his failure!”

Maybe standing at a street corner will make him realize that it could be his future after all… Have you noticed the people standing on the side walk holding a big sign for this business or another? Well, maybe if they had had a mom like that, they would be working somewhere else… It doesn’t seem like the dream job to me…

At the end of the day, if this kid was doing ok up until recently, his change in results is probably not because of any learning disability. It might be a “teenage crisis” and he has to realize that HE is the one who holds his future. Not his mom, not his dad, not his teachers… HIM.

What I admire is that he has parents that are doing something about it. Some experts might argue that they are not doing it the best way, but one thing that this kid can say is that he has parents who care about him and his education. And that is something that he will remember.

Working with kids every day, you hear way too often about kids who feel that their parents don’t care. And a lot of the time, it may just be the way they perceive a situation but often, it is because parents are too busy to check on anything their kids do.

Well, I say “bravo” to someone who does care enough to make a big deal out of it. Here’s a kid who has some guidance at least. And according to the article quoted above, it seems that the kid gets it and he is going to make more of an effort.

And it is so refreshing to hear about a parent who doesn’t blame it all on the school, or the teachers, or the education system, or the government or God knows what else, and who doesn’t make excuses for her son.

If this is what it took for him to take RESPONSIBILITY for his own life, then it is definitely progress and way more than a lot of kids will ever learn!

( You can see the original article here)

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Enough BS about Teachers!

February 21st, 2011 by admin

You know what? I am sick and tired to hear criticism about teachers and the state of education. And some of the comments and articles I am reading about the latest events in Wisconsin really make me mad. So here comes my two cents.

First of all, let’s get something clear. The vast majority of teachers work their tails off to give the best possible education in a system that is constantly sabotaged by their governments. Yes, sabotaged!

It is very easy to criticize people who called in sick to make a point. Ok, maybe they were not really sick but they attracted enough attention so that now, people are hearing about the problem. Did they have another way to do it? No! Teachers are paid peanuts! They can’t afford to take unpaid leave to go and protest about some legislation that is going to make their job even tougher than it already is!

You know what response I get from about 99% of the people I meet when I tell them that I am a teacher? “Oh I could never do it! I don’t know how you do it!” Right on! No one wants to be a teacher but everybody is right there to criticize them!

Oh and of course, God forbid that teachers would use their right to strike! Well, no, they can’t because as Ohio Gov.-elect John Kasich quite clearly put it a few weeks ago: “If they want to strike, they should be fired!” That’s right! I would love to see ALL TEACHERS in Ohio actually go on strike and all be fired! Well thought, Mr. Kasich, you could kill two birds with one stone and solve all the education and budget problems all at once!

Strangely enough, teachers in Wisconsin chose to call in sick…Well, sorry, teachers may be passionate people who stick to their job for the love of the kids despite the pathetic money and deteriorating conditions, but they are not completely dumb!

So people, get your head out of your back end and look at what is going on! Everywhere in the country, public education budgets are cut every year. Class sizes are getting larger and needed positions are not being filled. Learning becomes drilling kids to pass standardized tests that keep showing the very same results: schools with more money in more affluent areas do better than poorer schools… ooooooh, really? I would never have guessed!

And while real education cannot take place because teachers are too busy juggling discipline in their overcrowded classrooms with grading, planning and actually teaching every now and then, some clueless politician comes up with a legislature that will not only keep making all this even worse but shut teachers’ right to speak up!

Well, that would make me SICK too and I don’t think I would be lying if I did actually take one of my contractual sick days!

And given what is going on at the moment all over the Middle East, maybe some of those politicians may want to look at what happens when you stifle people.

You need money in the education budget? How about you start by cutting all politicians salaries? They’ll still make way more than a teacher can ever dream of and still live a pretty good life AND it would already fill a large hole in the budget!

Oh, and just remember, every now and then, that you owe where you are now largely to your teachers!

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Kids Are NOT the Problem

February 16th, 2011 by admin

We don’t have a kid problem in this country, we have an adult problem.

Seriously…

Every now and then it hits me again, but really, we have to stop blaming kids for everything. Whatever they do, it doesn’t come from nowhere. So we need to stop treating the symptoms of the problem and look for the cause. And the cause is parents who have no clue what they are doing!

Have you ever watched Super Nanny? Isn’t that a clue?! What have we got to that we need a TV program like that? How many generations of BAD role modeling have we let go by to get to this point? Without doing anything about it?!

Because really, that is all it is? Why is it that parenting was never taught? Simply because people usually remembered how their parents did it and adapted it slightly and all was good.

But things have changed and we need to ADAPT, not blame. So parents now both work and there is less time to be home to be a role-model… Boundaries are unclear because we don’t have time to deal with the consequences, so we let kids get away with stuff hoping that it will all fall into place eventually. It rarely does.

Regardless of all of this, the fact is that most people become parents without having a clue about what they are doing anymore.

Is it too late to change things? Probably not… But we don’t have that much longer either before things REALLY get out of hand!

Side note: Have you ever tried to adopt a pet from the vet’s office? Do you know that they can come and inspect your home and ask you all sorts of personal questions to see if you would be a suitable-enough owner? For a pet! To be sure that you will be a good enough “pet parent”.

If it’s got to that, why is it that just about anybody who physically can is allowed to have children and end up on “Super Nanny” with complete and utter chaos in the house? Isn’t it a bit late to give them a crash course in parenting?

Ok so maybe the world has changed and maybe a lot of people didn’t have the right guidance as children in the first place and all they can do is reproduce the very same mistakes or go the opposite extreme, which never works either.

Another side note: please understand that I am not here to blame anyone. I just blame ignorance. For generations and generations, nobody worried about parenting because it was going fine and it was one of those skills that was naturally passed on from father to son or mother to daughter. A sort of family heirloom. The skills and values were encrusted in each member of the family and were past on naturally, like specific genetic traits.

Now that this is gone in so many cases, where are the parenting classes? Where are the “raising-a-child-1.0” classes? And I am not talking about changing diapers and figuring out what food to give. There is plenty of information around about that.

I am talking about TEACHING kids to be good functioning adults. I am by no means undermining the importance of knowing how to physically take care of a child. It is vital but that is not what is destroying our schools.

I am talking about CHARACTER. I am talking about responsibility, accountability, respect and priorities. I am talking about enthusiasm and gratitude. I am talking about social skills. All parents do their best but you can’t teach something you are ignorant about. And it is not your fault that you don’t know about some of those qualities.

No point in blaming your own parents either. They did their best too.

Just in the same way as religious entities have pre-marital classes, we need to have parenting classes. At school. There are way more chances that you would find good use for a parenting class in life than trigonometry, unless you are planning to become a mathematician. And again, this is just an example, I have nothing against trigonometry but people who use it on a daily basis are fewer than people who have to raise their kids every day. And this applies to a lot of complicated stuff we learn at school.

I am not saying we need to stop learning these things. What I am saying is that we may want to look at the curriculum and adapt it to what is going on. There is no need to resist change. There is no doubt that family life nowadays is just about as far from what it used to be in the 40s or 50s as what it feels like driving a Ford T and an Escalade.

We all need to stop blaming the kids for who they have become. Let’s take responsibility and make the changes that we need to make, starting with ourselves.

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"As I embarked on my career in education, I often thought back to my student days. I found myself reflecting on my relationships with my teachers as I began to form bonds with my own students. I see both sides to the coin now. The importance of establishing a friendship and open relationship with your students is invaluable. The guidance, support and reassurance that a teacher provides extends beyond any other interaction a child may have with another adult. Mme. Bernard was always honest with me, open and supportive in my educational endeavours in middle school. This past academic year, a student handed me a note inscribed “life is about dreams, teachers help them come true” and I realised this wasn’t only about her and myself, I could relate too. Mme. Bernard and I continue our friendship to this day. Her encouragement continues to this day. I have dreams and I had a teacher who’s still helping them come true."
- Naheeda Karmali, Kenya.